Who to Believe

     The 90's were fun in a way.  I was in collage and was living in the dorms at Weber State.  On the other side of it was the time of Bill Clinton.  Bill let drug manufactures have commercials on television.  Everyone has seen them all.  If you have this or that there is a drug for that.  Then more to my dissatisfaction.  He allowed commercials on public television.  What I have been thinking lately is that it was some kind of trick.

Where Empires Die

     It was the British in around 1924.  Then the Soviets in the 1980's.  Now America is there in Afghanistan.  There are problems here at home.  Oh well we have David Petraeus with his fancy uniform.  All he needs in his Senate Committee hearing is a pimp hat with a pheasant feather.  How in hell is a country that is in the 1700's suppose to ever developed into a new world?

Utah Today

     There was a protest today for the last day of the Utah House and Senate.  It was at the State Capitol.  There will be no more GRAMA records.  Of  course I live in the wrong state.  I would be better off in New York or California.  I am trying to hold on because I like people here.  Let us all join up with the Tea Party,.  Hope it works out.  No one needs to know what the Theocracy of Mormon people are doing,  So wholesome and of course know the best for everyone in the world.  The sad truth is that there are only 14 million Mormons in the the world.  I would hardly say that is a movement.

Epic Failure

     On Sunday July 6, 2008 a Mormon Home Teacher and a perspective Missionary companion came to my house.  The discourse was terse and hostile.  The Missionary complained that my opinion about Val Southwick was misplaced.  After all Val had given him $500.00 for his soccer cost and had driven him around in his Porsche.  Val had revealed that Val wanted never to be poor like his father.  I stated that Val had stolen money from investors in the largest embezzling scam in Utah’s history with Ves Corp.  No problem there.  He did not mean to do it he had just bought property in Las Vegas that didn’t pay off.  After all he was a moral man in the Forest Green Ward.  The Home Teacher had no idea what I was talking about even though Val was his daughter’s Sunday School Teacher.  I guess no one had the foresight to disclose this information to flock.  The Bishop of the Forest Green Ward who by his silence had either been fleeced or embarrassed that Val could lurk around and sign the Ward and others up for a crack pot scam.    

The End

     Over time many societies degrade.  The definite way to keep such social conditions on an upward track is to have more law enforcement and spying.  There are the greats.  Whether it be Soviet Russia under Stalin, China under the Communist Party, or maybe Cambodia under “Pol Pot“.  More armies and police.  We should embrace such tactics because now instead of the rats leaving first when the ship is going down.  We are assured they will be there with us hanging on the hull making certain that we sink.

I really do not know

     An introduction of myself would be that I have a major in Psychology and a minor in Anthropology.  Though that I lived in the dorms with a Hispanic named Philippe.  I also had a Caucasian roommate named Ryan the better of the two was Philippe.  Over time I took on the mantle of cultural relativism from anthropology  and stuck with that till certain events in 2005.
     I moved to Salt Lake City into what I thought was an up and coming neighborhood a few minutes from the city center.  I loved the area where I could see the fireworks from the Winter Olympics in 2002 and hear the concerts from my front porch.  Then things got bad when the gang MK 13 from El Salvador moved in.  My neighbors a crossed the street had thirteen people living in a two bedroom house and I was attacked by a Hispanic in the alley behind my house that I had only seen once before.
     This was the worst and I had to move.  I had a long metal pipe in my hand because the garage I was just finishing it and was not yet backfilled.  I had to negotiate the ups and downs of the landscaping.  He and his girlfriend I guess found it disagreeable that I was in my backyard having a beer and stopped in their car.  Then he questioned me about my name, if I lived there, and what I was doing.  I stated that I didn’t know him and I wasn’t going to answerer him.
     I had sat down on the footing of my new garage and laid the walking pipe down and was drinking a beer when “Dreamer” which was the calligraphy on the back of his car came back grabbed the pipe beat me unconscious, fractured my skull, and almost killed me.  The beauty of the situation is that him and his girlfriend “Baby Girl” moved a few weeks later never to be caught by the inept police.
     This has change my view of cultural relativism to a great degree.  When you have a situation in which Hispanics are under the radar and harass people because maybe they feel that they have been slighted it leads to situations where everyone with any means will vacate the area and leave. They will be left to their own devices which is what I did.

Downfall

     I remember reading excerpts from a book _Drug warriors and their Prey_ a few years ago.  It was the five steps to genocide: legislation, identification, marginalization, concentration, then extermination.  Well now that Arizona has passed the bill.  The police and politicians will have to identify the people that have to be under the long arm of the law.  This is the most frightening thing I think I have seen in a long time.  To make it a tad simple I shall describe Nazi Germany.  First there was the legislation in 1938 that no Jews could own property.  Then there was the task of identifying who was a Jew.  So it was decided that anyone who had two Jewish Grandparents was a Jew.  Then the night of broken windows.  Concentration Camps and well extermination.  On that note maybe now that Arizona has taken the first awful step they can follow that timeline and declare that anyone who has two Hispanic Grandparents is a Mexican.

A Love Letter from the Past

David
     I am writing you back like I told you I would.  This letter is to answer to you letter you first gave me. This is the letter which I never wrote.
     I enjoy writing to you because writing one's thoughts opens you up to even deeper thoughts, feelings and emotions.  It is like a new world.  Like a new deep sea diving in the dark sea.
      In you letter you said I was a like you, curiosly in what way did you believe I am like you.  When i asked you this question I mean I believed I was so abrasive with people that I can not understand how you could ever understand me or anything I enjoyed. (Past)
     Now in the present I understand you and enjoy a lot of the same things:  Sports, camping, health, games, movies, peace, and alot more - including each other!
     I will never forget one friday night when I was alone at the beginning of feb.  We talked for a long time as I was lying on my parents bed - I talked to Carma, KW, and you.  Most of all you made me feel so good.  Carma and you talked about old times and we laughed.  Kevin and I talked about as much as we could think of to talk about as both of us were frantically trying to think of something to talk about before we both fell asleep on the phone line.
     Talking to you.  We talked about the past and you told me you had a bad year - one year you were depressed down for along time.  You really made me think.  I never though people who really had it all together got depressed or felt down for longer than three days.  Or they were near death!
     We talked for so long and I though for some strange reason I could talk to you and tell you everything and you still thought I was normal just down.  You could actually understand and most of all you listened and cared.  Even when I went on and on you still listened.  You asked the questions and we really talked.  Thank you so much.
     You said I acted so different when you talked about a relationship.  I guess you understand a little better where I was - LOST.  I was so busy trying to make everything work with Kevin.  That I never stopped to look at you and I wasn't because he was better than you in anyway.  I wanted to be able to talk deep with him like I cou with you.  IMPOSSIBLE he wasn't and will never be you!  It is not that he was in any way more attractive than you you.  He was just very submissive so I could continue on with my abnormal eating patterns and he would never know!  Not that I wanted to binge only that I wanted to fast!  But failed a lot!  He would have ran away fast if he ever knew there was a problem there.  Maybe he caught on - but that doesn't matter and neither does he!  You matter!
     Being with you I knew you would notice if I continued with my strange eating patterns.  And I didn't want anyone to find out - then I would be forced to ask for help.  Asking help from someone else seemed impossible and embarassing!  I believed I could fix all my problems in one day - I could do everything!  But the problems became worse and fast enough I couldn't even look at myself in the because I hated myself - I was so ugly!  So nights I would force myself to look in the mirror - it was hard!  All I seen was a deep black hole.  It scares me even now to think about it.  This is why I believe I still need couciling and O.A. because I am strong and I do not ever want to fall back into those tenacities!  That part of my life is ove but not forgotten.  I am learning a lot about other people as well as myself.
     Anyway when told you I had an eating disorder that I believe kind of broke the ice!  I guess it was strange how I told you - but I am glad I did.  Most of all I am glad you understood.  You didn't run away or think I was a totally gross person.  Instead you said I was Human!  You told me that everyone has been hurt before and that you have to pick yourself up and try again.  You made me think of the world as a whole and you and everyone else is forced to deal with daily crisis, emotions, and thoughts.
     I have changed my mind about the friend thing - I love you and love the communication we share.  I love talking to you and most of all I love it when you share things with me when we were in Califorinia under the stars in our sleeping bags.  You talked to me about you and your dad's conversation.  It made me feel needed.

XOXO

Orange

     I know this is going to sound strange to people that do not see me often.  Please do say if that is so.  The quote is "Please be hot or cold but not warm".  It was some sort of Jesus quote from the _King James Bible_.  Okay that is alright we can follow that to Republicans and Democrats.  That would be how you say the polarity of this country in politics?

Hard Times

     It was a difficult journey to realize a bell curve instead of a bi-modal model approach of people's political views.  When going out to the Great Salt Lake towards Antelope Island in the West in 1996.  It was apparent that some sort of reductionist argument was taking place.  To back up this I would say slamming between both polarities in magnets to create energy.

Vacation

     Next summer I get to go to Western Europe to see how the rest of the World lives.  It will be a cruise ship from New York that will hopefully have an open bar.  Oh I forgot the world is suppose to end and really.  I will still make plans because it has always been this way.  I thought it would end with the television show "The Day After".  Or how about the movie "Red Dawn".  It was all in the 1980's in case you wonder.

The Land that time Forgot

     "I just gave the go ahead to Corrections Director to proceed with Gardner's execution. May God grant him the mercy he denied his victims.12:02 AM Jun 18th A solemn day. Barring a stay by Sup Ct, & with my final nod, Utah will use most extreme power & execute a killer. Mourn his victims. Justice."  Mark Shurtleff on twitter of all places.   This I why I talk about with religion.  If everyone gets their fair share in the after life.  What is the point of society with crime and punishment.

A Poem

When I died and went to hell last night

The devil by my side
I saw a room for Rupert Murdock

He was having to watch "Fox and Friends" till he thought he was dead

It was Sarah Palin Screaming "Do not Retreat reload"
From times gone by